Help! I'm Talking and I Can't Shut Up!
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THE (COMMON) SENSE COMMANDMENTS ... OF HUMOR
- It is important to take your job/school seriously . . . and yourself lightly. There is a big difference between being "serious" and being "solemn".
- Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. (Victor Borge)
- There is a direct relationship between the funny line and the bottom line.
- You can’t help getting older. . . but you can help getting old. (George Burns)
- When humor goes, there goes civilization. (Erma Bombeck)
- Humor is our greatest national resource which must be preserved at all costs. (James Thurber)
- Love may make the world go ‘round, but laughter keeps us from getting dizzy. (Donald Zochert)
- Humor is a proof of faith. (Charles M. Schultz)
- You grow up the day you have your first real laugh--at yourself. (Ethel Barrymore)
- Misery loves company. . . but laughter loves it even more!
The HUMOR Project, Inc.
WELCOME... (to the Hilarious Haven of Humor!)
Be honest! When was the last time you laughed? REALLY laughed. . . and laughed. . . and laughed...?
I’m not talking about a little snicker or giggle that caused you to cover your mouth so no one would see and hear the real you.
I’m talking about a "gut-bustin’, bend-over-double, grab- your-side-to-stop-the-pain, tears-rolling-down-the-cheeks, can’t-get-your-breath"...LAUGH!!!
Why is laughter not only okay, but encouraged when we are tiny tots, but as we get older and "wiser," it becomes a very uncool way of expressing ourselves?
Remember when you saw a baby in a crib and you made all sorts of weird faces and sounds just to get the baby to smile or laugh? And once you found the magic method of humoring the little one, you would do it at least 286 times until he/she finally dozed off? (Or was it you that dozed off first?)
A few years later, that same child would make those same sounds and faces in the classroom that he/she had learned and hear these famous words, "One more outburst like that in this class and you will find yourself marching straight to the principal’s office, you little smarty pants. We are trying to learn in this school, NOT have a good time!"
And how about in church? "Shhh.. . Susie, if you laugh again I’m going to take you outside, and you know what that means, don’t you? We are in church, so you better get serious!" (Excuse me, but if we can’t express joy and happiness in church, just exactly where is it appropriate?!)
When I was a cub scout, (I never made it to the Boy scouts, mainly because I found out I got poison oak from just looking at the picture in the scout handbook, much less going on a real outdoor camping trip. And besides, working for several months learning to tie 735 different kinds of knots, just so everyone could call me a "tenderfoot"just didn’t do much for me). My big moment of the month was receiving the official scout magazine, Boy’s Life, in the mail.
To tell the truth, (isn’t that what scouts are supposed to do?), after Tread the corniest cartoon ever created--"The Adventures of Pee Wee Harris"--I turned right to the joke page, appropriately titled, "Think and Grin."
They had to be absolutely the world’s weakest jokes. How about. . . "What did the ocean say to the seashore? It didn’t say anything, it just waved". Now, is that bad, or what?
As weak as the jokes were, I now realize how much better people could cope with daily situations if they would sometimes simply "Think and Grin!" We need to somehow rediscover the sheer fun of living with an active sense of humor and laughter as we experienced when we were kids.
I’m not saying it would be appropriate for an adult to put a paper bag filled with cow manure on someone’s porch, light it, ring the doorbell, and watch from the bushes as he/she stomps out the fire. Come to think of it, it would be hilarious to watch the expression of my neighbor’s face as he tried to stomp it out, just kidding, Bob.
But, when was the last time you had some fun and left a joke on an answering machine? Or, paid an extra toll at the toll booth to "cover the guy behind me" and slowed down so you could catch the priceless expression as the perfect stranger tried to figure out who you were? Or, pulled up to the drive-in window of a fast food restaurant and, instead of ordering food, act as if you thought it was your local bank and violently demand a cash withdrawal because you "put money in my account here this morning and haven’t written any checks today, so I KNOW you still have my money!"
Without humor and laughter, life is like a Sunday afternoon ride with your parents. . .B-O-R-I-N-G!!! We need a heavy dose of humor regularly in both our personal and professional life.
Some of the advantages include: stress reduction, lowers blood pressure, increased circulation, a more positive outlook on life, and most importantly. . . humor and laughter are FREE and NOT FATT’ENING!!!
Even though my wife and Tare both educators, we don’t start our evening meal conversation with our boys with an exciting question such as, "Now boys, just exactly what was the outcome of your science project at school today?"
We try to make it a point to find the lighter side of life by habitually asking, "What is the funniest thing that happened at school today?" This usually gets a more positive response, but more importantly, it’s simply more fun to talk about the funny things in life.
People constantly tell me, "But, I’m just not a very funny person. I just don’t tell jokes very well. In fact, I can’t even remember most of the ones I hear anyway."
Applying humor to our lives is not trying to be a stand-up comedian. It’s simply looking for or sometimes creating ways to see the lighter and more positive side of life. And believe me, sometimes we have to look really hard to find it!
Obviously, everything in life is not funny. I don’t find a lot to laugh about regarding situations such as child abuse, homelessness, poverty, or AIDS. Nor do I find the humor in the results of disasters such as floods or earthquakes, or senseless violent acts like the bombing of the Federal Building in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
But, it is important to realize that in order for us to overcome seemingly impossible, hopeless circumstances, we must focus on the positive side. It is there. We just need to be determined to find it.
My dad is a retired minister, (which makes me one of those notorious "PK’s"--preacher’s kids). He shared with me that even in death (now, it doesn’t get more serious than that!), we can somehow learn to smile at situations.
He once had a church member pass away and during the days before the funeral, there was quite a bit of arguing and feuding over exactly who was to get what of old Aunt Sally’s estate.
The whole matter came to a climax when, at the graveside service, as he was reading the final scripture, the family members who were sitting under the tent literally broke into a big fight!
In fact, it got so bad, that he had to call the police officers, who were standing nearby, preparing to direct traffic for the funeral procession, to come over and get everyone under control so he could finish the funeral service!!!
Now, you may decide I have a very sick sense of humor-- which may be completely substantiated by the time you finish this book-or you can attempt to picture this situation in your mind and admit if you were there, it might take everything in your being to keep from bustin’ out loud laughing.
I have found life itself to be more hilarious than most jokes I’ve ever heard. One of my favorite experiences is the true story of a friend of mine who teaches a children’s class in church.
One morning she asked the deeply philosophical and theological question, "Where do you think God is?" Without hesitation, little Jenny immediately raised her hand and confidently replied, "Oh, I know exactly where God is. He’s in our upstairs bathroom at home."
My friend, trying to keep a straight face, calmly further inquired, "Well, Jenny, why do you think God is in your bathroom at home?"
"Because," she proudly replied, "Every morning my daddy stands outside the bathroom door, and while he beats on it, he screams ‘My God, are you still in there!!?"
HOW TO GET YOUR MONEY’S WORTH
OUT OF THIS BOOK
- As you read, reflect on your own similar experiences.
- Jot down your own "funny notes." Just don’t write down too many because you might be tempted to write your own book. Then the joke would be on me, because no one would buy mine! Now, that is NOT funny!
- Be aware of humorous comments and situations you experience during your day. Share these with others. It will reinforce your own sense of humor.
- Create an atmosphere at home and work that allows laughter. DON’T HOLD BACK!!!
"HELP!!! I’M TALKING. . . AND I CAN’T SHUT UP!"
Do you remember the time-consuming process you went through to find the "perfect" name for your children? My wife and I looked through tons of books of lists, talked to friends, neighbors, and relatives, and spent hours just saying different combinations of names to make sure they all went together just right.
I went through a similar process in trying to find an appropriate name for this book. I still think "A Fried Bologna Sandwich and a Can of Sardines Is As Close As This Old Country Boy Will Get To Surf and Turf" was a great name, but my wife may possibly be right--I said "possibly"--when she said it was a "little" long.
But, for some odd reason, everyone I knew personally, thought the part of the title ". . . And I Can’t Shut Up" was very appropriate for me. (They have me mixed up with someone else they know who talks quite a bit!). If you experience half as many smiles and laughs reading my book as Twill spending the money you paid for it, then both our time has been well spent. Just remember: Think.. .and Grin!!!
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